How we do Valentine's Day
by Sake Bottle Swing
Summary: Felix despises Valentine's Day for the obvious: it's a materialistic holiday and he'd rather be prank calling with Piers. Jenna does nothing to improve his mood, but Piers hopes to cheer up the cranky Venus Adept. AU modern times, PiersFelix.


I have been released from the fanfiction dungeon! (this is set in modern times so for all of you who are confused by the end of this, well that means you didn't bother to read this top bit! So NYAH!)

A/N im sorry at how this came out. I personally don't like it that much- I have no idea what went wrong but something did. Either way, it didn't come out quite as I wanted it to. Constructive feedback is appreciated; idiotic feedback just turns into static.

.. How we do Valentine's Day..

Felix hated Valentine's Day more than any other holiday in existence. It was worse even than Arbor Day (Although, Arbor Day wouldn't be so bad, considering that Felix is a Venus Adept with a fondness for trees).

Regardless, when February the 14th rolled around, Felix got into one of his I'm-very-grumpy-and-I-will-bite-anyone-who-comes-near-me moods, and no one wanted to get close to a grumpy Felix. Especially one who had a Ragnarok with someone's name on it.

Piers didn't like Valentine's Day much either. Perhaps it was because he was always one of the only lonely bachelors left in all of New Vale, and he always had hordes of females-decades younger than he-swarming around him, wanting to be his "Valentine".

He and Felix had spent the past three Valentine's Days together, doing the sort of stuff guy friends do. That stuff included a lot of video games, Coca-Cola, and phone calls to complete strangers. The last Valentine's Day, they had terrorized the couples around Vale by sneaking up to people in the bushes and yelling, "I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!" Ah, those were the good old times.

Felix had been looking forward to another Valentine's Day like that. But recently…

He couldn't explain exactly what was going on, but something between him and Piers had changed. They were close friends to begin with, but for the past few months they had been inseparable. Nearly every night they slept over at one or the other's house and often stayed up late, chatting away about whatever came to mind. Lately, though, Piers had decided that he would sleep in Felix's bed with him instead of on the floor. Felix didn't mind, of course-they were friends! Besides, who would care if they were caught in the same bed together? It's not like anyone was particularly interested in his room, anyway.

But on those nights, when Piers bunked with Felix and snuggled down close to him, Felix felt something more than friendship. It was an invisible force, tugging at the back of his mind, always bringing him closer to Piers. The Lemurian would wrap his arms around Felix, sighing softly in his sleep. And Felix didn't mind a bit. He quite enjoyed it, in fact. Yet he could never let Piers know. Was Piers attracted to him in a more-than-friends way? Being the cautious person that he was, Felix was too afraid to even dare ask that question. Although Piers would never turn him away, Felix knew that if he ever admitted his feelings, he would create a rift in their friendship no amount of prank calls could ever repair.

This Valentine's Day promised to be a bad one. Felix was woken up at the glorious hour of 5 am when his wonderful, dearest darling sister from Hell, Jenna, woke him up by screaming in his ear, "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, BIG BROTHER!" and ripping the blankets off the bed.

A groggy Felix blinked sleep away from his eyes. "Jenna, you have exactly five seconds to tell me why the hell you woke me up to remind me that this is the suckiest day of the year. Go."

"It SNOWED!" she shouted, bouncing on the bed like Djinn on a sugar high. "Look outside! SNOW! WHEEEE!" With that, she hurtled downstairs, shouting, "I'm going to go see Garet! Bye big brother! Don't get too cranky!"

Hmph. Too late for that.

Seeing as it was pointless to try to fall back asleep, Felix drew the blankets around him, oozed out of bed and, looking much like a human cocoon, and stumbled downstairs to make himself a cup of coffee. Only much to his shock and horror, the kitchen had turned pink overnight. Everything was a ghastly, horrid shade of pink. Heart-shaped balloons, crepe paper, streamers, and other paraphernalia matched the tinge in Felix's cheeks as he decided that yes, Jenna found great amusement in watching him suffer.

Stirring approximately a pound of sugar into his coffee, Felix gazed outside the window to see a pack of Djinn having a snowball fight. They were attempting to make heart-shaped snowballs, but without upper appendages, weren't having much success. He'd just opened the door to let some fresh air into the house when-

Pow. A snowball hit poor, grumpy Felix square in the face.

He didn't need to ask who did it. A glimpse of blue darting behind a nearby tree betrayed the perpetrator of the deed. Without bothering to put on shoes or proper clothes, Felix dumped his coffee into the snow, dropped the blankets, and gave chase.

For having been up a grand total of five minutes, Felix was racing pretty quickly through the woods as he gained on Piers. It wasn't long before he'd caught up with the Mercury Adept and tackled him to the ground, laughing the whole time as he walloped him in the face with snow.

"Ow! Ow! Fe, that's really cold!"

"That's why it's snow, idiot," laughed Felix as he sat upon his prey. "Now how did you know that hitting me with a snowball would put me in a better mood?"

"Lucky guess," muttered Piers as he tried to sit up. But since Felix had plopped down on his midsection, sitting up was out of the question. "Fe, you're not wearing shoes. Or a coat. Iris, you're still in your pajamas! Come inside before you catch cold!"

Felix tried to stand up, but the snow had thoroughly numbed his feet. "Uh, Piers? My feet are numb. I can't stand. Could you…"

"No problem." Piers raised himself from the ground, brushed off the snow covering him, and scooped Felix into his arms. He began walking back towards Felix's house, while rubbing his gloved hands along Felix's arms to try and warm him up.

"That was a stupid idea, you know, running out here not properly dressed."

"It's your fault. You started it. I had to catch you before you got away."

"It's not my fault you're an idiot."

They'd had this conversation 1,000 times already, about how stupid Felix was and how everything was Piers' fault.

The two bickered for the remainder of the walk to Felix's house. Instead of dumping him unceremoniously on the couch (as Felix expected) Piers carried the frozen-footed Venus Adept all the way upstairs to his room and laid him on his bed.

"You could have left me in the living room," Felix remarked as he tried to restore feeling to his feet.

"Yes, but I thought you'd be more comfortable here," said Piers. "Oh, I almost forgot-your blankets are still downstairs. I'll go get them for you. I needn't tell you to wait here, seeing as you can't go anywhere in the first place." Felix, not in the mood for Piers' teasing, hurled a pillow at his retreating form.

"Stupid Piers," he muttered once the door was shut. "Is he trying to make me fall more in love with him, bringing me upstairs? Does he want to go to bed with me? Why did I fall in love with someone so enigmatic? And so utterly stupid?"

"Would you mind telling me who this utterly stupid person is?" asked Piers in a friendly tone as he opened the door. Felix meeped and clapped his hands over his mouth. "Er, no one," he replied, knowing it was a completely lame answer.

"There's no way that was no one. You don't refer to anyone except me so affectionately."

"Well, it's none of your concern. Go away," snapped Felix.

"Cranky, are we? Why? Does widdle Fewix hate Vawentine's Day?" mocked Piers.

"Shut up. Idiot."

"I think widdle Fewix needs a hug."

"I don't need anything but my privacy! Now leave me ALONE!"

"Who's a widdle Fewix? _You_ are! Yes you _are_!"

"Piers, just shut the hell up and get the hell out of my room!" Felix yelled, thoroughly fed up with Piers' mocking baby-talk.

He didn't realize that Piers would actually be offended by this. The dejected Lemurian hung his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it bothered you so much."

Felix looked into his love's eyes. "Out. Now."

Piers sighed and heaved himself off of the bed. When he spoke, his voice wobbled lightly. "I don't want us to fight. Please, forgive me for being so childish."

Felix said nothing and sulked, his gaze boring a hole into the back of Piers' head.

Piers was about to close the door when he bolted back into the room, leapt onto the bed and yelled, two inches away from Felix's face, "YOU'RE MY WIDDLE FEWIX!"

"OUT!" Felix shrieked, hurling pillows and casting Spire as Piers ran away, laughing. He shut the door behind him. _He is so much fun to tease. Just wait until he gets his Valentine's Day surprise._

Felix remained pissed off all day. Anytime he saw Piers he took the opportunity to chase him like a madman, hurling snowballs and any other potential missiles at him, while Piers laughed like a child. This only further infuriated Felix and nearly drove him to insanity. He finally caught the Lemurian and tackled him into the ground, rubbing snow into his hair.

'How do you like that, idiot Lemurian! That's for calling me 'widdle Fewix' and torturing me all morning! And for the snowball you threw at me and the fact that the Djinn have gone insane! Oh, and for Jenna, because she's determined to make my life a living HELL!"

All while Felix was yelling this, Piers was laughing hysterically. Felix finally gave up and screeched, "DAMMIT I HATE YOU!"

Piers stopped laughing at this point. "Do you, Fe? Do you really hate me?"

"…no…"

He sat up at this point and brought his mouth close to Felix's ear. "Then meet me in my room tonight at nine o'clock. I'm going to give you something then."

"Piers…but I didn't get you anything."

"Don't worry. You'll be able to pay me back." With that, Piers gently pushed Felix off of him, winked, and strolled off towards the house. Felix sat in the snow with his bum freezing, completely dumbfounded.

_What is that idiot Lemurian up to now?_

When Felix met Piers later that night, he was surprised to see him kneeling on the floor, wearing his robe. Felix blushed slightly as he came in. "Oh, er, I guess you just took a bath. Sorry, I'm a bit early."

"It's no trouble," said Piers. "Come sit." Felix obeyed and took a spot on the floor next to him. For some reason the air seemed warmer than usual…_oh Iris, don't tell me. I've fallen head over heels for this guy._

Still smiling, Piers turned to Felix and said, "I'm sorry about tormenting you earlier. It's just that…it's so much fun picking on you. And when you get embarrassed, your ears and nose turn bright red, and…you look like a brunet panda!"

Good. Piers was back to his normal self. "That's wonderful to know, Piers. I look like a panda. Do you want to start feeding me eucalyptus now?"

"Koala eat eucalyptus. Pandas eat bamboo."

"Whatever!" Felix screamed in exasperation. "See, this is why you piss me off so much. You're such an insufferable smartass!"

He could feel Piers get emotional beside him again. "That hurts, Fe. Why do you call me such names?"

"Because I'm telling the truth, that's why."

"You needn't be so blunt…"

"You needn't be so stupid."

Felix heard a sob for a response. "I'm not falling for that again. You can keep your 'widdle Fewix' comments to yourself." He turned to the Lemurian only to see that he was curled on the floor, crying gently.

"…Piers?" asked Felix hesitantly. "Are-are you okay?"

Piers looked up at him with tears streaming down his face. "No, I'm NOT okay. I'm not okay because you're being a complete asshole with no consideration for my feelings. You're being a stubborn stick-up-the-ass just because I teased you a little. Don't you _get _it, or are you completely dense?"

"Get what? What is there to get? Piers, I'm sorry, but-"

Piers glared at him sharply, then laughed bitterly. "You don't get why I tease you, or make fun of you, or, let's see-spend nearly every waking moment with you?"

"Er…no."

Piers laughed again, this time with a hint of sincerity. He rose from his position on the floor to look Felix in the eyes. He'd stopped crying by now, but his eyes still sparkled.

"I love you, Felix. More than any other thing on this entire earth."

Felix was shocked as to how to respond. He settled for sitting there, gaping like an idiot at the man who'd just confessed his love for him.

"And there's no way you're going to reject me, because I know you feel the same way."

This snapped Felix back to this fantastical reality. "Oh yeah? Prove it."

Piers edged closer to him so their hips were touching, and leaned towards his ear and whispered, "I've got my ways of knowing. Let's leave it at that." With that, he kissed Felix's earlobe. The Venus Adept burned bright red, not only because he'd been discovered but because having Piers kiss his ears-and now his neck-was quite pleasurable. Felix groaned and leaned back against Piers, who'd wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Mmmm…" Piers moaned lightly as he snuggled closer to Felix and ran a hand up and down his chest. "You're clothes are just getting in the way. Can't you get rid of them?"

"Uhhh…" Felix stuttered a bit. "But- but what if someone…comes in and sees…you know…"

"Look, I don't care what they see. We could be in here going at it like bunnies and I still wouldn't care.

"Piers? Are you serious about the 'going at it like bunnies' part?"

"Hm? Oh, well, maybe. I don't care, really. Whatever makes you happy. I'll fall on my back if you want me to."

Felix blushed deeply at this. "Well, I don't think so…not for a first date."

Piers shrugged. "Whatever." And he began kissing Felix's neck. "Didn't I ask you to get rid of those clothes? Or at least your shirt-come on, Fe, this is killing me!"

"How?" Felix asked, the ever-popular wiseass.

"You don't want me to show you," growled Piers. "Now get rid of your shirt before I call in Jenna to torch it off of you."

Felix meeped. He didn't need Jenna in here now. Not while he was all flushed and had this weird, queasy feeling. Somewhat reluctantly, he stripped off his shirt, much to Piers' delight. The Lemurian responded to this by sliding off his robe and running his hands all over Felix's chest, sighing contentedly.

"Piers?"

"Yes, love?"

Felix was surprised to hear someone refer to him as "love". "Do you want to move over into the bed? That's not an invitation, you pervert! It's just that my legs are cramping and I think we'd be more comfortable."

Piers laughed. "Whatever you say, love muffin."

"Don't call me 'love muffin'!"

"Fine then. Love panda."

"Not 'love panda' either!"

"What, then?"

"Just…Fe is good. I like Fe."

"Alright then, Fe." And they climbed into the bed together, snuggled in one another's arms and keeping each other warm through the cold February night. And as Felix drifted off into the land of sleep, he realized, _Maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad…once you've got someone to share it with._

.. _Ta Daaaa! _..

Sorry this is so late…school's a pain in the ass sometimes. But I'm on vacation!

Hey, if you want more yaoi…I'm writing a story called, "Perversion". Methinks the "warped mudshippers" will enjoy it. Woot! Please R&R!

Felix! Piers! Have you no decency?

Felix and Piers: (muffled reply) No!


End file.
